Sex Addiction Group

Joshua Nichols

Marriage Counselor, Family Counselor, Sex Addictions Therapist

Marriage Myth #2: Find someone that will MAKE YOU HAPPY!

Sun, 10/25/2015 - 16:22 -- josh

So, we continue our Marriage Myth series.  First, we talked about how how our culture supports the notion of COMPROMISE in a marriage, but that approach could lead to bigger problems down the road.  Now, I bring to your attention the second article in this series:
Myth #2: Marriage is about MEETING EACH OTHER’S NEEDS or MAKING EACH OTHER HAPPY.  
 
When couples come into therapy, it is likely for me to hear at some point the following words uttered from one or both of their lips – s/he is not meeting my needs.  

 

I understand that for the most part they are reflecting on the fact that their partner is not pulling their weightin the marriage.  However, our culture tends to push this idea that my spouse has a responsibility for meeting MY needs. This simply is not the case.  The way I see it is that I have needs for healthy functioning, my spouse has needs for healthy functioning, and our marriage has needs for healthy functioning.  I am responsible for meeting my needs and doing my part in meeting the needs of the marriage, but my spouse is responsible for meeting her own needs.  

Marriage Myth #1: Marriage is about COMPROMISE

Fri, 10/16/2015 - 11:41 -- josh
 
Our culture today adheres to a set of marriage principles that I believe is not helpful, and sometimes even detrimental, to the marital relationship.  In this series that I have entitled “Marriage Myths,” I address some of these teachings or philosophies that believe to be “bad advice” for those considering marriage and/or those who are struggling in their marriage.  Although I never expect others to adhere exactly to my viewpoint; however, I hope this series will at minimum get your wheels turning about some of these common teachings on marriage.  And so we begin

Marriage Myth #1: Marriage is about COMPROMISE.

This is probably one of the most common phrases I here from the couples that come in for marriage counseling – “Now, I know marriage is built on compromise, but…..”  Can you hear the resentment brewing in that statement?  It is funny to me that the term “compromise” is only used with a positive connotation when we are talking about marriage.  Would a soldier want to be in war with someone who is known for compromising their position? If you operate heavy machinery for a living, would you want to work with equipment that has been compromised?  If you work in the business world, would you want to be in business with someone who tends to compromise their ethics?

5 Christmas Songs the Kid in Me Loves, but the Therapist in Me Loathes Entirely!

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 09:00 -- admin

I know it has been a long time since I have written a blog entry.  I have been wanting to get started back for quite some time now. I figured that Christmas time is about as good as time as any, right?  Anywho…..I thought I would kick it off with a lighthearted holiday piece concerning some legendary Christmas songs.  

One of the curses that goes a long with being a therapist is the temptation to over-analyze; and that is exactly what I have done here.  Thus, I ask for your forgiveness ahead of time if I, in any way, ruin some of your favorite Christmas songs.  That said, let the OVER-ANALYZATION process begin!

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  This particular carol is one of the firsts we commit to memory as a child.  It has a catchy beat and an interesting story.  One thing you may or may not know about me is that I tend to root for the underdog – in this case, underDEER (that’s my middle-child syndrome shining through, which is probably why I am also a huge Chicago Cubs fan).  But I think most of us like a good story where the seemingly “weak” or “weird” one rises up and indirectly sticks it to those who bullied and/or didn’t believe in him or her.  Isn’t that the message of the story?  Hmmmmm…….

Let’s take a closer look.

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As a licensed marital and family therapist, I have extensive training and experience in working with couples and family.  For more than a decade I have devoted my career and ministry to serving couples and family in the professional counseling setting. I have developed these seminars based on my clinical expertise and experience in working with marriages and families over the years.  I currently offer the following seminars:

Parenting R.I.S.K.S., LIfelong Rewards. Building Relationships that Last a Lifetime

The 5 Myths of Marriage

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I have experience speaking to religious organizations, academia professionals, non-profit and self-help organizations. I have spoken on mental health topics such as anxiety and depression, self-injury, control, and teenage drug and alcohol addiction. I have presented on relational topics, including but not limited to communication, sexuality and intimacy, blended families, parenting and the parent-child relationship, and forgiveness.

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